I have just been speaking to an Independent Sexual Violence Advisor at Survivors UK. I am rather surprised.
Survivors UK is a charity that deals with men who have been sexually abused either in childhood or in adult life. Until yesterday I did not know that Independent Sexual Violence Advisors existed.
I am waiting for the Truth Project to get back to me and give me a date. The Truth Project is the restorative justice arm – though they don’t call it that – of the current inquiry into childhood sexual abuse.
I wasn’t sure that I came within the remit of the project. The inquiry is very much about institutional abuse and public failings.
I am quite looking forward to talking to the project. This will be the first time I have talked about it in a non-therapeutic context.
The project will refer me to the police. There were domestic incidents. The other people involved are dead. I just want to make a report.
There was also an incident of group abuse. I want a report to go to Devon and Cornwall police. I feel someone else might have made a report at some time. It might be possible to link them up. Apparently I will need to make a video statement.
When I have made a report I will be able to make a criminal injuries compensation claim. If I get anything I don’t think it will be much.
I want to feel that I am more part of something. More of a citizen.
I feel I have lost a great deal. I lost a large part of my life to mental illness.
There were no witnesses. No evidence. That is why I didn’t report it before.
That suggests that I didn’t think I could have justice.
I didn’t think I was entitled to compensation. That tends to suggest I don’t think I’m worth it.